Calexico...10,000th times with tears...hello drama!
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
nice!
Thomas Jefferson - "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."
Thursday, April 20, 2006
JOY
joy
"don't cry, it's only music,"
someone's voice is saying.
"no one you love is dying."
it's only music. and it was only spring,
the world's unreasoning body
run amok, like a saint's, with glory,
that overwhelmed a young girl
into unreasoning sadness.
"crazy," she told herself,
"i should be dancing with happiness."
the world's unreasoning body
run amok, like a saint's, with glory,
that overwhelmed a young girl
into unreasoning sadness.
"crazy," she told herself,
"i should be dancing with happiness."
but it happened again. it happens
when we make bottomless love--
there follows a bottomless sadness
which is not despair
but its nameless opposite.
it has nothing to do with the passing of time.
it's not about loss. it's about
two seemingly parallel lines
suddenly coming together
inside us, in some place
that is still wilderness.
joy, joy, the sopranos sing,
reaching for the shimmering notes
while our eyes fill with tears.
Just for me...
Friedrich Nietzsche - "There are no facts, only interpretations." So
true. I asked out a guy this week and he said no. My interpreation is
that he is not interested...That is a fact!
just for me...
If a man going down into a river,
swollen and swiftly flowing,
is carried away by the current --
how can he help others across?
Sutta Nipata II, 8
swollen and swiftly flowing,
is carried away by the current --
how can he help others across?
Sutta Nipata II, 8
My grandmother told me today that I should not be too picky and start thinking about a guy...I smell arranged marriage:)
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Monday, April 17, 2006
I found them!
my new rainboots! I've been dreaming about them since the very rainy Vipassana course and finally found them on Amazon! There is none left in the rainy city...San Francisco it is!
weekend movies
Its been a lazy weekend...
Friday: Weather Man...I don't like N. Cage, he is creepy. The only reason I was able to take it was Melih, Okan and Erdem and their combined wicked sense of humor.
Saturday: I do, I don't, Dennise Richards was the only one I know in that movie. I watched it with Ozlem. She was so sick Saturday, we spent the whole day at home. Very relaxing but the movie was so Bollywood, it made me depressed. I hate lifetime. We missed Cenk....
Sunday: History of Violence...Ed Harris and the Lord of the Rings guy...I hated it...Can picked the movie with such confidence and I usually follow his advice on my Netflix so didn't even bother to check twice...It was black screen...Sunday nights are already sad and depressing....However, Yuko gifted me roasted green tea, amazing!
I saw a horrible dream where me and my sister were kidnapped and raped. Very disturbing movie.
How many lives?
life is so messy, I am just tired. I am tired of explaning myself, why don't they get it? Why is this so hard? We are so helpless and hopeless..Human race is a failure. I just can't take it anymore!
Friday, April 14, 2006
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Right on!
One is the quest for worldly gain,
and quite another is the path to Nibbana.
Clearly understanding this,
let not the monk, the disciple of the Buddha,
be carried away by worldly acclaim,
but develop detachment instead.
Dhammapada 75
and quite another is the path to Nibbana.
Clearly understanding this,
let not the monk, the disciple of the Buddha,
be carried away by worldly acclaim,
but develop detachment instead.
Dhammapada 75
Brooding Over
I was told that I have a "brooding" personality. I've never heard that word in English, nor in any other language. When explained, I thought, totally no, but then I started to see the signs and it was so obvious...I am pretty much brooding over everything....Hours of meditation, but still doing this...@SIGH@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I found some descriptions on Answer.com. It kinda makes sense....
1.To sit on or hatch eggs. I am not a chicken, though I am afraid most of the time to speak up, so maybe sometime in the past I was...
2. To hover envelopingly; loom. No clue...
These make more sense....
1. To be deep in thought; meditate. Yes
2. To focus the attention on a subject persistently and moodily; worry: brooded over the insult for several days. Right ON!
3. To be depressed. I am not depressed, but definitely have my moments every now and then and all I want to do is to disappear...I usually end up under my blanket or find myself eating chocolate.
Breakfast Feast
I started eating breakfast instead of artificial South Beach bars. Growing up, I always had breakfast home. It was a morning ritual, dad never left home without eating breakfast. He had to have feta cheese, tomatoes and tea of course...Overtime, I grew out of the habit when I started commuting to college, (2 hours each way) and then breakfast became a treat that I could enjoy only on the weekends...I love eggs, feta cheese, tomatoes and lemon ricotta pancakes (only from Miss Millies and they are closed!)
The only time I had breakfast more than 2 days in a row was during the Vipasanna course, 10 days in a row! I am going to beat that record and today was Day 1! I had oatmeal, steel cut, with stewed prunes with cinnamon and cardamom. So tasty! It is 10 am and I am still full...
Here is the quick recipe, if you like to make your own...
1 cup of steel cut oats, 2 cups of water, just boil it for 20-30 minutes under medium heat...
Stewed Prunes: 6-10 prunes, 1 stick of cinnamon, 4-5 cardamom pods and 1/2 cup water. Bring all to boil and let simmer for 5 minutes. You are good to go!
Sera had been an inspiration to me to start this experiement.
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